Yes, I Am Better Than You- And I Am NOT Sorry

"Do you think you are better than me?" A Christian asked me, though she knew the answer.

She should have known better than to ask me something like this.  I hate being asked questions that cause me to be brutal.  All atheists are not better than all Christians.  This is not about religion.

Make no mistake: If you hate someone because he or she is a different race, I am better than you.
If you think homosexuals are the same as pedophiles, I am better than you.
If you hear a  rapper's  message of love and kindness and it angers you, I am better than you.
If you aren't bothered that the richest 85 people have more money than half the humans on earth, I am better than you.
If you prefer to believe you are right instead of being open and growing as a result, I am better than you.
 
I know I sound arrogant, and I am not sorry.  Not even a little.  Chances are if you are one of these people you already think you are better than me so I am simply stating my case and leveling the playing field.

Being kind and helpful and loving is not just different than being homophobic, racist and hateful; its better.  I say I am better not because I want to be a jerk, I say I am better because I strive to be a better human being while the people I referenced above do not.  Every day I seek to learn and grow and better myself.  I am better because I make the decision to be better each and every day.

 In my career I have attended many funerals.  I have never been to one where the family admitted that their loved one was anything but perfect unless, of course, they were joking.  I can't imagine that no one dies before becoming a better person.  Everyone who dies is kind.  Everyone who dies was so generous and loving and tolerant.  Sometimes you look at their relatives and know that is crap.  You become like those around you.  Choose your influences carefully.  In my opinion the point of this life is to learn and grow.  You simply can't grow if you care more about being angry and right than  being accepting and loving.

There is a litmus test for self improvement.  If you find that you are becoming kinder than you are becoming better.  Perhaps if we were more honest about what we believe to be a good human being we would allow ourselves the opportunity to strive for greatness. So strive for better even if you strive alone.

Its Nothing Supernatural- You're Just a Jerk!

"The Devil is a liar."
"The Devil is testing me."
"The Devil is in him."

Poor Devil.  Its easier to blame a mythological character than to accept responsibility for someone's own actions.  People who believe in the two political party system of morality confuse me.  If things go well, their benevolent being must be pushing for them.  If things go not so well that evil creature is rearing his ugly head.  They are being tested.  They are being rewarded. No matter what, they are not responsible.

I can't say that I completely believe in Karma, though it is nice when jerks get their due.  No one leaves this life unscathed.  Everyone suffers to a certain degree.  Some suffer more than others and some don't suffer nearly as much as they seem to deserve.  Evil may or may not go unpunished, but evil is not a choice made by the devil its made by regular men.

What concerns me about this view of the world is that it lacks any introspection. Perhaps things aren't going your way because you are an ass and no one wants to be around you.  I am in sales.  This is not a vocation where I can afford to be a jerk (at least not openly and on any kind of regular basis).  My success is based almost entirely on people's perception of me. The more people like me the more they refer me, the more they refer me the more money I make.  It doesn't take a genius to figure this out.

Yet, I see people screw over their clients and coworkers then wonder why their sales suffer.  Some made a ton of money before word got out about their less than honorable business practices.  Then when shit hits the fan they think God is testing them or Satan is after them because they are such good, honorable, Godly people.  Except they aren't.  They are jerks and they never look within themselves  and correct their own behaviors.

So, if things aren't going your way, stop blaming Satan and start doing some inventory of your own actions.  Don't pray, go out and do something.  Your luck may just change.

Christian v.s. Christ- Like

I work with many wonderful people, many of which want to convert me.  I have gotten invites to multiple Catholic churches, a Baptist Mega Church and a small Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall.  I am open to visiting them all.  I am not a militant atheist.  I do not seek to convert, just to make people think about their place on this big blue marble.

I once visited that Baptist Mega Church because one of the pastors is a friend.  He is truly a great guy.  He has never been anything but kind to me.  He wants to "save" me and not because he is hoping for some brownie points with the magical man upstairs.  He wants me to make it to that perfect address in the sky.  He has my best interest at heart.  I would trust this man with my dogs, and that says a lot.

Once in that Mega Church I ran into a co-worker.  He happened to be a volunteer usher.  He asked me if I regularly attended his church and I admitted that I didn't.  He then asked which church I frequented and why I was at Mega Baptist (not the real name, obviously) that particular Sunday.  Again, because I don't lie, I told him that I didn't go to church, but that I was invited by Cool Pastor Dude (also, obviously not his name). 

Mr. Coworker/ Usher took it upon himself to warn my Godly coworkers that there was an atheist in their midst.  Mr. Usher wants me to become a Christian too, but that has nothing to do with me.  Its an after thought, like he hopes it will get him an extra hug from Jesus or something.  Recently, the Usher asked me how much money I made and about our referral program.  (I make shit, there is no way to sugar coat it).  I expected his response to be "you work so hard, I am going to refer you a few of my friends who have been asking about our services to help you."  Instead I got "wow, there really isn't enough money there to make it worth my while to refer my friends to you."

Holy Shit! Really?  This is what a good Christian man says to someone who is struggling and yet continues to do right by her clients?  He didn't give a crap about me (or his friends who should prearrange because it is in their best interest). Nope, he only cared about the money.  To make matters worse he approached my Uber Christian friend and asked her the same thing.  He was just hedging his bets.  Unfortunately for him, we both make shit.  I feel I should mention that Mr. Usher is really working with us to have something to do during retirement.  He was a higher up in a multimillion dollar company before deciding to retire.  He definitely does not need the money.

Since I am dealing with people who wear their religion like a badge of honor; I couldn't help but think WWJD?  What would Jesus do?  I may not be a religious scholar but I missed the part in the Bible where Jesus asked for a kick back before deciding that he would minister to the wealthy because they had better snacks.

Why is there such a huge difference between being a Christian and being Christ- Like?  There are so many people who consider themselves Christians but treat people abominably.  Does calling yourself a Christian give you Cart Blanche to be a jerk because you think you are forgiven?  Do Christians ever think about this stuff or is this introspection a benefit of being an atheist?  Is it my disbelief that forces me to check my own motives and actions instead of judging others?   More importantly, how do you tell someone like Mr. Usher that he is missing the whole point of his Sunday mornings?

I Can't Show My Face

I once talked to a manager about wanting to be a writer. He informed me that if I wrote about work (or my experience there in) I'd be canned.

I was once asked to do a radio show, he told me I'd be canned.

So, if you read my blog, please comment. 

I can't do the YouTube thing (because I need to pay my rent) so if you ventured here let me know what you think.  Even if you think I am full of crap, let me know.  I would love to hear from you.

Thanks!

The Big Fat Gay Issue

Ash Beckham is totally cool.  Her gender and sexuality have no basis on the fact that she is totally cool.  I am convinced that she was born cool and will die cool and what happens in between only serves to make her more cool.

I discovered (by accident) a TED talk she did in Boulder through a site called Upworthy.  I admit that I am the most technologically backward person on earth, so I am sure I am the last person to discover this site.  But, like Ash, its totally cool.

So, after I was done with this super cool (I need a thesaurus) Ash Beckham video I decided to send it to my friend.  Now, this friend is a devout Christian but I really thought that she could look past the fact that Ash is a lesbian and truly enjoy the content of this amazing talk.

WHOA! Was I wrong. The text response came back with the following words "lifestyle", "great speaker BUT", "Jesus" and "Bible".  Feel free to let your imagination fill in the spaces between those words.  Really.  There are no wrong answers, my friend.  I am sure you have heard it all before.

In the video Ash talks about coming out of the closet, but her talk is about so much more than that.  It's about having difficult conversations with people and it is brilliantly executed. Now, I am NOT tolerant of homophobes.  Not even a little.  I couldn't even play one on TV.  So, this is not a new argument between me and my horribly misguided Christian friend.  This time,I decided to hit her where it hurts.

Me and my Christian buddy are not thin.  We are both well aware of this fact and hope that people see past it to who we really are.  Though I'm not in the "obese" category ,I am only a few hot fudge sundaes and skipped workouts away.  (I am not one of those annoying size two chicks who says she's fat so that her friends can say "nah ha", I promise).  So I Googled (gotta love Google) what the Bible says about overeating, laziness and gluttony.  Guess what, it had a lot more to say about our lifestyle than it did Ash's "lifestyle".  It wasn't pretty. 

So I presented this to my also not thin Christian friend.  No response.  I knew that this bothered her because she, like every other woman on earth, is quite sensitive about her size.

I informed her that I was horribly disappointed that she could not look at a human being and recognize her incredible talent without suddenly seeing her through the eyes of Biblical Judgement. How even Jesus didn't bother mentioning homosexuality.  I reminded her that though I am vehemently irreligious I also respect those who are not like me, i.e. Joel Osteen.  I find him to be a wonderful speaker.  She then suggested that I write Joel so that he can convert me.  Sigh.... I give up.

She once accused me of thinking that she was stupid.  I denied it.  Though, I admit, I am quite certain that I am much smarter than she is.  This is entirely because of my efforts in this world and not my genetic make up or educational background.

I am significantly more intelligent because I can see past someone's surface and learn about different points of view.  Because I don't instantly discount someone for being gay, or fat, or black or anything else I get to actually talk to him or her.  I get to know his or her likes, dislikes and general view of the world.  I allow myself the opportunity to learn something new from someone new.  By being respectful and open, I grow.  That's what makes me smart.

I pity people whose view of the world is so narrow that it can fit in a book written hundreds of years before they were even born.  They can't believe in evolution because they don't evolve.  When you care more about being right than about growing you start to die.  Your world gets smaller and your days get longer and you become miserable and stale.  Sure, you can count on the whole Heaven thing but what if you are wrong?  What if you die and that's it and instead of enjoying this beautiful life with its amazing people you were holding out for some non existent afterlife. 

God may or may not exist.  But what I know for sure is that any God worth knowing is made of love and kindness and would expect us to spread that in his or her name.  Any God that "Hates Fags" is not a God I want to spend a day with, much less eternity.  The homophobes can have him.

So homophobes, racists and sexists can go through life in their little bitty worlds.  They can compare homosexuality to bestiality in hopes that their God agrees.  I sure as hell don't want to spend eternity with them anyway.  I will enjoy pissing them off by continuing to be a person of love and kindness regardless of what comes my way. In the end it doesn't matter because, to me, its all about the journey.

Gen Y- Really That Bad?

So, depending on who is writing the article I am either a Gen Y or Gen Xer. Either way, my generation is shit.

If you have bothered to read anything else I have written (and if so, THANK YOU!) you know that I work with much older people.  By much older, I mean old enough to be my grandparents.  Every once in a while one of these older folks forgets about our generational gap and sends out one of those "here's why we hate this new generation"  mass emails.

If you haven't gotten one of these yet, let me sum them up in a few lines.

"Gen Y- As in Y should I have to work? Y do I have to pay my own way? Y can't the government take care of me."

"The Greatest Generation knew how to save.  We lived through the great depression.  We knew how to do without.  We fixed things.  We respected our elders.  We (gasp) would never be caught dead showing our boobs, butt, ankles, etc. out in public."

This battle makes me think about the whole "Elvis Effect".  Here is a guy that was really quite docile by today's standards and yet when the youth of that day revered him their elders flipped out.  They were certain Elvis was as bad as it could get!  Now people who feared "the pelvis" are more afraid of  breaking a pelvis. 

Here is a Gen X/ Gen Y/ Me Generation/ Millennial's view on the whole old versus new thing.  Both generations have their many, many faults.  While several Baby Boomers and their parents fought for civil rights and integration, many more fought against it.  Gen X and Gen Yers are much more tolerant of people who are not exactly like them.  We prefer love and kindness over hate and intolerance.

We are, as a whole, more materialistic and self absorbed.  However, what can someone expect from us?  We grew up with mother's who had to work for financial, not just personal reasons.  Yes, we were given trophies for participation and yes we had much better toys than the older generations did, but we also suffered significantly more pressure.  Our bullies had much better "weapons" than those of the Greatest Generation, we had school shootings, we faced unbelievable academic pressure.  So, getting a trophy for dragging our exhausted, over extra-curriculared, cyber bullied butts out of bed and onto the baseball field is really not that big of a deal.

Every generation has its problems, but let's be honest the old problems don't go away they are just compounded as time goes on.  The Greatest Generation dealt with wars, so do we.  The Baby Boomers faced social injustices, so do we (though based on other things, not just race).  The Gen Xers had overworked, exhausted parents, so do we.  They may have had wars but our wars are televised with little or no censorship.  With increased information comes an increase of emotional distress.  We know more, so we feel more. Even if we will never see any type of battlefield.

The difference between Gen Y and the older generations is that we are unwilling to repeat the mistakes of our parents.  Perhaps we should be called "The Learning Generation." Unlike those before us we refuse to let our kids feel bad about themselves because they got a "B".  We care a great deal about having the financial resources to NOT have to rely on Social Security since we know it won't be around.  We forgo obsessive, mind numbing jobs in favor of starting our own businesses.  Though we want to be wealthy we don't want it enough to jump into an early grave whilst our children attempt to find any kind words about us at our funerals.  We may not be as concerned with what our place is in the community but we are very concerned with our place in the home.

What Gen Yers know that previous generations didn't is that we are truly alone.  Sure, a Baby Boomer or Silent Generation stay at home mom found friends, but could she truly be herself? Would a woman of those generations really be able to talk to these friends about her husband's drinking problem?  Would she be able to disclose how his womanizing and occasional slaps made her feel about herself?  Could she get divorced without losing many or all of those friends?  Yes there may have been a greater sense of community but that community was only a community if you completely conformed to their social mores.  Gay people did not have a sense of community.  Divorced women did not have a sense of community.

There is a story that reminds me of how lucky I am to be born into this selfish generation.  In 6th grade my science teacher (a member of the Silent Generation according to my calculations) talked about how he went to a friend's house for a sleep over.  There were a total of 6 or 7 boys at this slumber party.  He said that the mothers of the other boys took turns showing up unannounced to check up on their sons.  These moms were calling each other constantly and running surveillance on the house because the mother hosting the slumber party was (gasp) divorced!  These women (probably some of her friends before she dared divorce) were just certain that she was letting the boys run wild being that she was obviously of loose moral character.  My teacher lamented that the boys got no sleep that night, not because they were having fun, but because they were always worried who would be the next shrew to come in and embarrass her son in front of his friends. 

If that is the behavior of the "better" generations then I am honored to be a self absorbed, money hungry, over educated and entitled jerk.  At least my generation doesn't kick a poor woman when she is down.  We are just a bunch of silly kids who believe that everyone should be entitled to civil rights, a living wage and a certain amount of personal happiness.  We must really be crazy!